An open letter to President Bush

Sunday, October 14, 2001

Dear Mr. President Dude,

I live in Red Hook Brooklyn, about a mile and a half from ground zero. I watched the towers collapse from Van Brunt Street and was covered in the funerary ash while you cowered in various military bases till the coast was clear. Your less than courageous and inane performance on that day shows you are incompetent with extreme prejudice.

Your ill-conceived ill-fated attempt at retribution towards an enemy UNSEEN and UNKNOWN has released a nebulous cloud of gnarlum upon the CIVILIANS of this country. You go on (and on and on) with your erstwhile penchant for spouting eastwoodian clichés, but I don't believe you are cognizant of the difference between Mr. Eastwood and yourself. He is an actor. They are movies. Eastwood's lust for vengeance does not endanger civilian lives.

Your monstrous remonstrance to the American people to "go shopping" while the FBI has warned of additional terrorist attacks in the next several days is not only stupid, but criminally unconscionable.

You know dude, transpirations such as the W.T.C. disastoplex are hard for even me to fathom, and my IQ is in the upper 300s! But a guy with barley firing synapses like thou! You shouldn't even try. You have not a fugging clue!

My wife, Holly Block, a stalwart and courageous woman who works in Lower Manhattan, said to me, "If I die, I die. I am just furious that Bush has put our lives in jeopardy."

I love my wife dearly. You, sir, . . . are not a gentleman.

The next civilian blood shed in this country lies entirely on your hands and Daddy can't get you out of it this time.

We have seen the barricades go up to protect the police. Oh thank god they will be able TO MAINTAIN ORDER during the frigging abyss!

WHY DON'T YOU PAINT A TARGET ON MY FOREHEAD AND I'LL WEAR A RED FRIGGING SUIT WITH HORNS AND A TAIL SO THEY CAN SEE ME BETTER. Dude! Thanx[nks] ever so much!

Sin-fugging-cerely,

John "BROKEN HAND" MORTON ®
259 Van Brunt Street.
Brooklyn NY, 11231

BrokenHand@electricfuggingeels.com

(Call or write anytime, George)