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If I've done my job correctly, and you filled out your cookie, your chosen appellation ought to appear right smack dab there betwixt "Dear" and "," ! !
And if it is thusly, it signifies that I'm completed job numero uno here at the O.E.E.F.H.®
The job of making sure you have fun ! ! !
And we take that charge seriously here @ O.F.E.E.H.®. Deadly seriously.
No, you won't find any premiums or coupons here, just fine web-site tobaccos
with new improved Punkability® and the only
"Rudeness Warrantee"® ( click here for info ) on the
entire fuckin' WWW.
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GETTING TO KNOW US!!
We are stridently Not-For-Profit here at the O.E.E.F.H.® Just doing what we have to do to survive, whilst maintaining and protecting the first amendment of the Constitution the best damn way we can. (By the way, have you checked out Britney's new one? It is way-fucking-gnarly-boss!! I've said it before, but I think her's is the most satisfyin' "Satisfaction" to come down the pike yet, and believe-you-me !! They couldn't pay me to say that, if it wasn't true)
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We find site maps anathema at O.F.H.® and here's why,
The staff and I at "Eels-on-Line" posit that in life one should find one's own way, whether it be it the path to enlightenment, or the road to entertainment, and, I might humbly add, methinks we provide a little of both here at www.electricfuckingeels.com.
So we've jam-packed the "fugging homepage"© with "plenty o'nooks and crannies"© for you to explore, get lost at, and just plain have fun in.
For example, the wandering Gent might find himself amidst a bit of web-japery entitled, "PUNKPORN"© for a dalliance, whilst the Lady, might wish to make animadversion utilizing the facilities available to her at "The Official Fucking Electric Eels Complaint Form" And by the by, the Complaint Form is a simply capital means to make your cognizance cognizant to me! (Contrary-wise to what it says in the copy about me destroying the files, ((I assure you, merely some punk-posturing my publicist proffered to me to publicly prevaricate)) I actually do read and cherish the legion of complaints garnered there daily.) So please, by all means kind Sir and gracious Lady, fill out the Complaint Form and Submit !
I believe that's enough frolicsome repartee for the nonce, And you , You've got work to do. Away with you now, back to,
HAVING SCADS OF FUN AT the F.O.E.E.H.® !!!
Sin-fucking-cerely,
John Morton®
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