Welcome, default name , (*see note) my dear august member of the honorific working press!!
(you don’t mind if I call you default name do ya?)
* note (default name will remain unless you fill in name cookie)

I’d really like to thank you from the bottom of my fugging heart for taking time out of your busy fucking day to stop by the old web site-arooni!

Monitor looking good, browser fired up, default name?

Then good and good, default name! Now just settle back for the friggin Proto Proto Punk Web Experience of your fucking life!!!!

Well, default name, I’d just like to summarily point out a few salacious and salient (and even supercilious) points proto web wise.

 

THE HIGH LITES[ghts}
  1. Our world famous rudeness warrantee
  2. Our rude e-mail function
  3. Our lame swastika explanation page (with patented™ swastika JavaScript trail event)
  4. Punk Porn (defiantly not for the feeble of mind or feeble of prurience)
  5. You might want to read my open letter to Mr. President Bush Dude (before I am surreptitiously removed from the offices of "eels-on-line©" to keep comfort with the other 700 [presumably arab] persons in this country who have been . . . "detained" under the new anti-terrorist bill: CodeName: OPERATION FASCIST FREEDOM! )
  6. Some prior remarks from the press about the eels (and you might well glean some superlatives for future use! Very handy indeed default name!)
  7. Eels lyrics
  8. Liner notes to god says fuck you and eyeball of hell.
  9. An excerpt from my speech to the 2001 graduating class of Lakewood High School (Why I am still a punk)

and some more rather non-eels related mortonian stuff wise, you might like to see . . .

  1. A new website for Michael J. Weldon's Psychotronic Video Magazine
  2. Way excellent mortonian short stories
  3. And seeing how Mr. Morton's (current) wife has just published a book on contemporary Cuban art, you might try HavanaHolly.com

Astride from the highlights mention above, you are sure to finds scads of abusive "punk" fun in the garden of infinite punk pleasure known as the official fucking electric eels website by entering through the pubic . . . public entrance at http://www.electricfuckingeels.com !!!

 

Special Offer!!!!!!
Good Old Honest Abe Lincoln said, "You measure publicity by the inch, not by the content" and with that in mind, I will send a personal check to the charity of your choice for every inch that appears in a major publication (IE Readers Digest, People) So remember Quantity not Quality is the watchword and you'll be helping the neediest at the same time!!!)

 

Well, default name, stay in touch!

It has been an incredibly dubious pleasure (with god as my whiteness) meeting you, default name !!!!

Yours ever so fucking sincerely,

John "BROKEN HAND" MORTON®

president for life E.E.F.O.W.©*
*(Electric Eels Fucking Official Website ©)

 

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